Five Things to Leave Behind This Year in Parenting After Religious Trauma

We did it everyone! We’ve almost made it through to the end of 2022 Parenting After Religious Trauma. I recently asked Dr. Laura Anderson, the therapist who meets with our PART community for monthly sessions, how we can know if we’ve made progress in our healing/recovery journey. My soul, shaped by the productivity driven ethos…

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Parenting After Religious Trauma, How It’s Going

Today is the first of the third month since I’ve started my Parenting After Religious Trauma membership and I just wanted to give an update on how that’s going so far.  Why I started it First, let me back up and explain (vent) why I pivoted to doing a membership community. Perhaps this will come…

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How to Deconstruct with your Partner

You were raised religious, married young, got busy having babies and now? Uh-oh.  You’re deconstructing and rethinking your faith, the very system of values that compelled you to form this family in the first place. Guess who’s been through this rodeo and got some life hacks for ya? This girl. (points to self) Over the…

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Dealing with the Regret of Deconstruction

“But then you wouldn’t have met me.” This is my husband’s go to line throughout the many years of my deconstruction. When you tear apart the fabric of your spiritual and identity formation, one familiar theme emerges over and over again: regret. I mean, I think given the finitude of being human, we all experience…

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My “Empty The Pews” Story

As a young woman, I was also Wild At Heart, but unfortunately that story was reserved for men. Converted by Christian missionaries at 12 years old, I came of age in evangelical youth culture looking for an adventure that would be mine. There are many things young women can look forward to in evangelicalism—marrying a…

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How to Raise Politically Engaged Children

Before we get to the how, let’s ask why.  Why should we raise politically engaged children? Shouldn’t a child’s primary job be to simply play and go to school? Play and education are important for kids, but neither of those things are politically neutral. We should raise politically engaged children because it is a fundamental…

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Religious Trauma: Looking for the Exit Doors

A healthy church should have porous walls and open doors. I’ve been saying stuff like this as I consider what healthy spirituality can look like, how churches can “do better.” Because authoritarianism, coercing members to stay against their will, is not healthy religion, it’s a cult. Healthy commitment to a community freely flowing out of…

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Deconstruction Updates

Does this mean my deconstruction is over? People who are a few laps behind me on the deconstruction journey want to know whether there is an end to the madness. Is there an end to the suffering? Can there be constructive paths forward? What happens to the threads after we unravel, does it weave itself back into something more beautiful, or lay limply on the floor as loose, strewn strings?

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