When I speak out against evangelicalism, many people give me sympathy nods with words like, “I’m so sorry you were hurt,” while they continue on perpetuating the status quo. 😒

It’s condescending because the implication is that I was somehow weak, or unlucky, and became victimized in an unfortunate turn of events. 

Instead of questioning whether the system itself is toxic, the attention is placed on the people who are hurt, or have left, as if we are the exceptions to the rule. 

I don’t speak out on these issues because I’m wounded in need of pats on my sad little head. I have my own resources and I am taking good care of myself. 

I don’t speak out of weakness, I speak out of my power. I speak out because my remarkable resilience has carried me through confusion and pain and loss into clarity of vision. 

I speak out because I grew up immersed in evangelical subculture with acute understanding of every nuance and can unpack with authority the implications these teachings have had on me and on the people all around me. 

I speak out because I have learned there is a better way, a healthier path forward, and you can take the evangelical out of me but I can still damn well HOLD WITNESS to the things that give us life. 

The notion that the Church ought to listen to “wounded” folks because they are sorry for the pain they’ve caused misses the mark. 

The Church needs to pay attention to us not because we have been beaten down, but because we have risen. Our light shines on those dark corners of abuse, and injustice, and distortion of humanity. 

Don’t be sorry we’re hurt.

Be sorry that you’re complicit.

Be sorrier if you aren’t spending your days joining in our transformation.