Episode 132: Mild At Heart: Deconstructing Purity Culture in Men w/ Bradley Onishi

October 11, 2021

Because of a whole host of systemic issues, the parenting space is mostly populated with women. In other words, mothers are the primary parenting influencers. Of course, there are several fantastic dad voices out there. I’m constantly on a mission to seek them out and am always on the lookout for anyone talking about deconstructing toxic masculinity. 

Because of this, I was really excited to find out about Bradley Onishi. He hosts a group for people exploring sex, love, and masculinity after purity culture. I love what Bradley does because there are so many more conversations that need to be had on purity culture from different perspectives. 

In this episode, we talk about all of this. Bradley helps us understand how to deconstruct purity culture for the boys we are raising. He also answers the question I am constantly getting from all of you parents in the audience: how do I raise my sons without toxic masculinity? Tune in to learn from Bradley’s incredible insights.

Show Highlights:

  • Bradley’s background with evangelicalism and the church.
  • Why adolescence is such a vulnerable time and, therefore, a particularly difficult time to get thrown into purity culture.
  • How purity culture harms both men and women.
  • Why Bradley feels like his conversion to evangelicalism was an immediate conversion to purity culture as well.
  • How purity culture leads to toxic masculinity.
  • Bradley’s perspective of deconstructing from a privileged place.
  • How to raise straight white boys in a way that is forging forward equity, undoing oppression, and dismantling toxic masculinity systems.
  • What homosocial enactment is.
  • Why it’s dangerous to always separate boys and girls in youth ministry.
  • How to actually let your kids be themselves.
  • Why it’s so hard to be a child.

Links (affiliates included):

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