I’m writing over at the beautiful SheLoves community today. They have gracious dedicated the month of October to the theme of “Listen”, inviting various people to share stories of being the outsider, the other. I am very honored to be contributing my story there and look forward to hearing everyone else’s.

Before long, I had mastered the art of living the dominant narrative and hiding my own unique and complicated story.

This is why a deep friendship requires so much time and tendering. It takes time, energy, and focused will to discover all the complexities of our complete stories.

I learned to recognize the people in my life, who despite my expert attempts at living partial stories, pushed to hear my complete story. They were the ones who asked questions and listened without interrupting. They were the ones who would remember details of stories I had told. They were willing to live in the uncomfortable tension of uncommon ground. After a lifetime of learning to become like others, I found people who were willing to become like me. I discovered a satisfying relationship can only come from a desire to know each other’s complete stories.

Read the rest of the story here.